You’re getting dressed for a date. The heartbeat is like that of a drummer in a band. Your mind is racing with all the things you shouldn’t and should say. This is like preparing for an interview, only with more butterflies. Read more now on taking your dating life to the next level.

Let’s begin by asking the age old question: where do you meet people. Don’t forget real-life interactions. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble are all dating apps. Yes, it still happens! If you’re thinking of coffee shops or bookstores, (if they still exist) or even a barbecue with your friends, then yes! Sometimes serendipity is more effective than algorithms in attracting love.

We’ll talk about first impressions now that someone is on your radar. You’re right to believe the old saying, “You only get one chance to make an impression.” Dress comfortably, but well. No one wants to watch you yanking at your collar the whole night. Remember that confidence is the key, but not to the point of arrogance. There is a thin line between charmingness and being insufferable.

You are sitting next to each other for dinner (or whatever). What next? You can make a conversation feel like you’re walking through a minefield without preparation. Keep the conversation light at first–similar to weather chat, but more engaging. What is the best book that you have read recently? This is a much better question than “So, tell me about your five-year plans?” Keep the heavy stuff to later dates, when you and your partner are both relaxed.

Have you heard of active listening before? It is gold when it comes to dating. Keep eye contact, nod occasionally (but not so much that you stare as if you were trying to hypnotize the person), and respond thoughtfully. Allow them to express themselves, but don’t become their therapist.

Your dating arsenal should also include humor. Nothing can break the ice like laughter. Share funny or silly anecdotes. For example, the time that you wore mismatched footwear to work without realizing it until after lunch.

The date may be going well. There are sparks flying. What if you’re not sure if the person is into you? Watch for subtle signs, like leaning forward while you’re talking, mirroring the movements of your partner, or even laughing at your jokes. It’s time to move on if you see them constantly looking at their phone or around the room.

It’s important to remember that rejection is a part of life. You shouldn’t take rejection personally. Everyone is different. Remember the scene from “Friends”, when Ross lists Rachel’s pros and cons? Do not do that! Continue to fish in the sea of fishes.

When things progress beyond initial dates into something more serious–communication becomes crucially important. It’s important to be honest and open about your expectations without sounding like a robot during an interview (“I’d like three kids before 35”) Listen to their feelings and express them openly. It’s called dialogue.

Negotiating disagreements is also a tricky business. Conflicts are never pleasant, but they can’t be avoided. Instead of letting things fester and grow until they explode, address the issue calmly.

Lastly, and this may sound cliched, but be yourself through this journey. To pretend otherwise is to set you on a path that will lead you down a path filled with unnecessary complications in the future when your true colors are revealed.

Although dating can be a complex process, it’s all about finding a way to connect authentically with someone else despite life’s many uncertainties and quirks. Go forth courageously, dear reader, & may Cupid continue to bless you!